


Rebuild

by TheSohiryDestiny



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, Gen, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, VERY Isa-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 21:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12197442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSohiryDestiny/pseuds/TheSohiryDestiny
Summary: No one is more surprised than Isa when he decides to stay in Radiant Garden.





	1. ISA

**Author's Note:**

> _Xehanort is dead. Saïx is no more._
> 
>  
> 
> His eyes slide shut in silence.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Xehanort is dead. Saïx is no more._
> 
> His eyes slide shut in silence.

He laid there on the cold tile floor, beaten, exhausted, his breath impossibly heavy in his lungs. Every gasp of air a swallowed scream of pain, caught before the sound could escape. Muted, silenced. Because he knew.

If he let go, if he made a single sound, they will hear him. They will remember him in their victory. They will turn away from their homecoming, their reunion with friends lost and forgotten. They'll turn away, and then they will see him.

Weak. Pathetic.

_Useless._

Someone who couldn't get a single thing right, no matter how great his intentions were. Every single action only served to destroy him. All he did was drag his friends down with him. Every single time. Until all he could do was distance himself from the people he loved before they were lost forever.

But.

Kairi. If he hadn't been there, if he hadn't stepped in, what would have happened to her?

No. Maybe...maybe what he did was worthless. It was possible that she was never in any danger to begin with. Sora might have been able to get to her in time, or someone else could have. It could be that all Isa really did was throw himself at Xehanort in the most reckless, idiotic move he'd made in his entire life.

He'd certainly never expected to survive it.

But someone had caught him, there at the end. They'd dragged him out of the darkness before it could rip his heart apart again. They'd stayed with him, stayed behind to heal him. They kept him tethered to this world rather than join Sora in his final battle against Xehanort.

And now it was all over, and Isa was alone again. Unable to do anything but watch the celebration as it played out in front of him.

He saw Sora caught up in a dozen hugs from almost as many people. He returned each hug with visible enthusiasm, a huge grin on his face.

Ansem the Wise was reunited at last with his assistants, his amber eyes filled with tears.

And Lea. He stood only a few short feet away from him, laughing. So relieved to be there with his _real_ friends once more.

Roxas. And Xion. 

It took all of Isa's strength to twitch his fingers, to close them into a fist. Now. Now, while they were all distracted. He had to get away. His body felt heavier than ever, like there's not a single inch of it that hasn't taken a beating over the past hour. But he was far more motivated than he ever was before.

Because he can not stand it.

He didn't begrudge them their happiness, truly. But he won't be able to take the look in their eyes when they turn away from their celebration and see him. See what has become of him.

How he could do nothing but crawl across the floor like a worm, unable to even lift his face above the stained tile. Every bit of unavoidable friction stabbed sharply at his nerve endings, creating an endless concerto of pain. Endless because Isa did not stop. He can not stop.

His eyes were open but unseeing, the world around him somehow distant. Almost muted under the onslaught of agony that tore through him.

And in the background, the others' voices come through with perfect clarity. He can hear them laughing, crying. None of them even noticed him leave.

It shouldn't be this easy. Shouldn't this have been much harder? Was he so very forgettable?

Isa dragged himself away, out of the room, one painful inch at a time. He pulled himself down the hall with dully throbbing arms. He crawled until his body finally gave out, and then could only lie there on the cold tile. And isn't it ironic? As much as he's desired, fought for, a heart of his own, at this moment he can't even hear the sound of its beating. To the point that he could just as easily be a Nobody.

And then he heard it: Kairi's voice. The first sign that his absence was noticed.

For just a moment Isa felt tempted to lie there and listen, like a spoiled child who ran away from home. As if all he really wanted was some sort of tangible proof that someone would miss him if he disappeared. That someone would notice if he left.

Voices called his name. Kairi and Lea and Ansem the Wise.

Listening to them, he almost felt fifteen again. But he's not. And after everything that has happened, after everything he's done, Isa can't imagine ever being that person again. Someone that innocent, that carefree.

There wasn't much time left. Someone could find him any minute.

His hand closed into a fist on the tile. He considered.

He could get away if he opened a portal through the darkness. No one would be able to find him then. He would be well and truly lost in every sense of the word. Many things lurked in the Lanes Between. Even with his black coat to protect him, he would stand no chance for survival.

There was still enough of Xehanort inside him that he doubted he'd ever be unable to open that door. And in the end, that was what stopped him.

The Door to Darkness was Xehanort's favored method of travel.

And Isa was not, would never again be, a pawn of Xehanort.

So he put the last of his strength into his right arm, and forced himself to move. To inch along the floor as his sightless vision faded.

He blacked out.

The last sound to reach his ears was Kairi's voice calling his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 02/23/2018: Fixed to past tense and minor amendments.
> 
> **Next Up** : Kairi


	2. KAIRI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world seems to forget about Isa for a time, as he wanders lost in slumber.
> 
> _But that's all he ever wanted from the start._

She didn't pay much attention to it at first. That uncertain feeling registered only as a vague itch, a slight distraction. Of far less importance to her than her friends. Than the ability to touch Sora, touch Riku, and know that it was her standing there. Her hands, her body.

There was no way she will ever regret throwing herself between the Heartless and Sora, not when she knew what Xehanort had planned for him. And separating her heart from her body had resulted in Naminé becoming her own person. No longer just Kairi's Nobody, but a person in her own right.

And she doesn't regret it at all. A lot of good things happened because of her actions. Xemnas was defeated. Terra was restored. And together with his friends, they stopped Xehanort for good.

But nothing could ever replace having the ability to be with the people most important to you. And that was something she would never forget. Not for as long as she lived.

_Even if she's already forgotten something very important._

It was just like Riku that he noticed it first, before the uncomfortable feeling in her chest was fully formed. That he could read her mind before her thoughts lined up in any coherent order.

He looked at her, the bright aqua of his eyes warm and familiar. The affection in his gaze quickly grew concerned. "Kairi? What's wrong?"

Something was wrong. She could feel it. And the feeling...it's deep, like an open wound, or a vast canyon. An empty hollowness. Like something was missing. Something integral to her very being. It felt like the very gravity was changed, to leave every single thing in the world just a little off-center. Changed, but so subtly as to remain unnoticed.

When she was a little girl that feeling was one she'd lived with constantly. It was what was left where her memories should have been. Sora and Riku, they had helped her fill that hole, a little at a time. Not by making it vanish, but by being with her. Little by little, they built something outside of that canyon of forgotten memories, and after a while it stopped hurting.

But it hurt now. Though hurt might be too strong a word. It was more like a full-body itch, like there was something she should know. Something incredibly important.

The last time she'd felt like this, Sora had been asleep. Kairi had lost every single memory of him. It had been as though someone had taken a paintbrush to whitewash over their time together. To paint him out of her past.

This felt...similar, but different. Because it wasn't related to Sora in any way.

"I don't know." Her voice was low, hesitant. Her entire face felt numb. As if the empty feeling inside her was reaching out to swallow her whole. "It feels like...something is missing."

She'd felt something like this before. Recently.

And that thought, that realization, was enough to make her turn.

It was as if she tore through some kind of barrier. A wall that separated their celebration from the pain, the grief from their long battle against the darkness.

Suddenly she had not only Sora and Riku's attention, but the full focus of everyone in the room.

Two steps. That's as far as she needed to go to realize what the source of her discomfort was. She knew exactly what was missing.

Kairi turned to Lea, automatic, as the one person who should know. "Where is he? Saïx. No, not Saïx. _Isa_."

Something about him changed at the question. She could see it. The verdant green eyes became sharper, intent. Lea turned immediately to the bare section of floor that had until recently held the crumpled body of his childhood friend.

Who had been forced to watch the entire time as they all forgot him, too caught up in their victory to remember him lying there.

That same realization bleached the color from Naminé's face. She turned to Terra, her hand outstretched. "You don't think he left, do you?"

As if she didn't already know. They all knew.

Because Isa had already been erased, forgotten, replaced. He'd fought for them, sacrificed for them, and no one had any clue because it was Saïx. All they'd seen was how he antagonized Axel. How he'd abducted Kairi, and used her to manipulate Sora.

That was all he'd let them see. Until today, when he'd said that final "No," and thrown himself at Xehanort. When he'd offered up everything that he was in that final act in his battle for the light.

Terra only met Naminé's gaze for a moment, his hand still on Ventus' shoulder. The lightheartedness from before was now only a vague memory. Shadows filled his eyes as he turned to look at the door. He nodded. "He can't have gotten far. Come on. Let's split up and look for him."

He walked off without a second of hesitation. But that was normal, wasn't it? He'd been by Isa's side the entire time. They had both been trapped there in the darkness.

The only difference was, Terra still had a place to return to once everything was over. Isa had lost his a long time ago. And every single one of them knew it.

Kairi did not wait to see what the others did. The vague discomfort she'd felt before had grown to a fever pitch the instant she'd identified the source. It didn't matter that she barely knew Isa. She couldn't fight it. She didn't even try.

She left. She couldn't tell if she walked the distance to the hall, or if the door just magically appeared before her.

Sora and Riku followed her out of the room, and added their voices to hers.

She barely noticed them. It was as if some inexplicable force was drawing her ever onward. Even though she knew logically that someone in his condition was unlikely to get very far, she kept going. She didn't slow until she was near the other side of the Manor.

And that was where she found him. A crumpled heap lying face down on the floor, his aqua eyes open and unseeing. Slowly pulling himself across the floor, one-handed. He dragged himself away from them almost mechanically, with no apparent thought beyond the desire to leave. To escape.

"Isa." It hurt to look at him. Kairi dropped to her knees beside him. Her hands reached out almost against her will.

He fell still under her fingertips the instant she touched him, so still it was nearly impossible to tell if he was still breathing. And just like before, when she was nothing but a faint glow of light separated from her body, Isa opened his eyes to see her.

His mouth moved. "Kairi." His voice was weak, quiet, far past the point of mere exhaustion. His eyes slid closed, the movement almost smooth. "Do you know me?"

He'd asked her that once before. But this time he did not stay awake to hear her answer. His breath escaped in a long sigh as he stilled.

Panic tore through her. "Isa?" It was almost a shout.

Riku pulled her away only to take her place by his side. His entire body was tense as he knelt on the floor. He reached out, his expression intent. "Heal."

Isa's entire body lit up green as the Cure spell took effect. But the light faded far too soon for her peace of mind.

Riku sat back on his heels. He took in her panicked expression with one glance before he returned his gaze to Isa. "He's exhausted. He probably used up all of his energy to make it this far. We need to get him back to Ansem the Wise."

Kairi couldn't tear her gaze away from Isa's body lying there. How very fragile he looked. How still. "Is he going to be all right?"

Riku was silent. He just looked down at Isa, his expression serious.

Kairi forced herself past him. Her hands grasped Isa's wrist, her fingers pressed against the inside. 

His pulse was weak. Barely even a presence against her fingertips. She could feel him slipping away.

Sora caught her arm before the panic could overwhelm her. "Don't worry." He grinned at her, the expression natural on his face, reassuring. "You'll see. Isa's going to be just fine. He's a lot stronger than you think."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 02/24/2018: Fixed to past tense and expanded somewhat.
> 
> **Next Up** : Dilan


	3. DILAN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The still-new sound of a beating heart, the pale grey light of the noon sky. Alone, always.
> 
> _He wakes._

He had a hard time feeling surprised by the lack of visitors for Isa. Three days had gone by since the boy woke, and the only ones to see him were the older Keyblade wielders: Ventus and Terra. Aqua, they'd said, was busy restoring their home world to its original state.

They had that in common.

Still, the two of them were worried enough to check up on Isa, even if they couldn't stay more than an hour at a time. You would imagine that the friend from Isa's childhood would have put in a token appearance himself. But no, the days came and went and not once did Lea so much as show his face.

Though it may have been more accurate to say that Lea did not show his face to _Isa_. Dilan had caught him in the Castle twice already, pretending some errand.

And from the look of it, today planned to follow the same pattern.

Even after ten years, Lea was still a boy in his eyes. One whose habit of sneaking around had not diminished even slightly after all this time. Though for once it wasn't the inhabitants of the Castle that he hid from, but rather, just one person.

"If you're looking for Isa, you won't find him here. He'll still be abed at this hour."

Lea jolted and turned sharply at the sound of his voice, his boots squeaking on the tile.

Dilan hid his amusement at the lad's reaction with the ease of long practice. His long years as a Nobody had their uses.

It could be that Isa was still too weak to leave the bed after his ordeal, but Dilan found that unlikely. Isa had always been the type that wanted to grow up faster than he did. If he'd had the mind to, he'd have dragged himself down those stairs, come hell or high water. Even if he couldn't do a thing more taxing than alphabetize encyclopedias.

No, if Isa chose to remain upstairs, likely it was his mental scars that were in evidence, and for no other reason. Especially given the result of his last stay in the Castle.

Any of the previous times.

Lea set one hand over his chest, visibly breathing hard, although Dilan's appearance shouldn't have been that much of a surprise. "Dilan. Man, you almost gave me a heart attack. Nice to see that you haven't lost your touch."

"And I see that you're still up to your old tricks as well." Dilan crossed his arms over his chest as he looked down at the lad. It wasn't that he was particularly unhappy to see him, but they'd had this conversation twice already. And it always went the same way. "Now then. Do you have business here in the Castle, or is this a social call?"

Unlike the rest of them, Lea hadn't moved into the Castle after his re-completion. In fact, he didn't stay in Radiant Garden at all. For the time being he had a bunk in Master Yen Sid's Tower while he trained to become a Keyblade master alongside his friends. But being Lea, there was no telling what he intended to do afterward. Radiant Garden might have been the world he was born to, but it had long since stopped being home to him.

"I wouldn't call it business, per se." Lea glanced away to avoid meeting Dilan's eyes. For someone that had lied often and easily as a Nobody, Lea's furtive behavior was laughably transparent. His awkward smile was so fake as to be physically painful. "Actually, I wanted to talk to Ansem the Wise. His research was a serious lifesaver, so I..."

Likely he could have carried on for hours if Dilan let him. But there was no real point in letting the lad talk his ears off to no purpose.

"His Lordship is out at the moment. As is Ienzo." Lea and Ienzo had been friendly enough that Lea might try to pass off his appearance as paying a visit to a friend. As if Dilan wasn't aware that Lea had no intention to speak to either of the two.

No, knowing the lad as he did, Lea's aim was something else entirely.

"You may find Even upstairs, if you're interested." Dilan watched Lea with practiced disinterest. "I'm sure that you will find him more than capable of answering any questions you might have."

He had no doubt that speaking to Even had been Lea's aim all along. One of the few things that had remained unchanged over these long years was the focus of Even's research. It was that same research that had allowed Vexen to create replicas with their own agency.

It also made Even the ideal person to help those whose hearts had been damaged through prolonged exposure to the darkness.

Such as Isa.

Whom Lea continued to avoid for no reason Dilan could see, despite his very real desire to see that his friend was all right.

Which ultimately resulted in Dilan catching the lad skulking about the Castle. Three separate times.

Lea looked up at the stairway, unable to conceal the longing on his face. But he shook his head after only a moment's hesitation. "Nah. I'll just come back later if he's busy. It's not that important."

Dilan nodded once in acknowledgment.

He didn't say a word when Lea left after that. He only turned to resume his patrol along the lower levels of the Castle.

The lad would show up again, he knew. At the rate he was going, Lea would probably put in another appearance tomorrow. No matter how tangled his loyalties were right now, Isa remained too important to him to easily be cast aside.

They would talk eventually. It was only a matter of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 06/29/2018: Fixed to past tense, with minor corrections.
> 
>  **Next Up** : Ienzo


End file.
